Trauma Survivors & Effective Change!
Written by The Entire Valerian Council
Date: 8-2-2026
When someone is or was abused, they may see’s threats everywhere. This is due to "nervous system activation" and PTSD. It is important to say, that trauma's impact is not chosen and it is different for everyone!
Trauma is not the person who experienced it's fault!
Also, not all people who survive scary things, develop PTSD, that is important to say. Research it, if you need. I still find it very weird. - VLC God of Murder Bhaal Hellraiser
For the survivors who do! They may not deal with the trauma directly, instead of facing it head on, because that can be too scary (this said matter of factly) and it is also, overwhelming, so it is easier sometimes, to find "dopamine" hits ONLY.
They want to feel better but that does not mean, they are focused on healing that trauma because its a lot on your own! And, their nervous system may be a bit too reactive, stuck or flooded by past experiences!
They are not wrong, for wanting to feel better!
(we can get into the details in a minute)
Every person has the Maslow’s Triangle of Hierarchy of needs.
When systemic and interpersonal issues, are that impactful, it is hard to sort through all the issues going on because everything “feels on fire”. Meaning, it is hard to logically assess nor reason because that part of the brain is extremely activated or flooded with cortisol, the stress hormone.
Logic is kind of inaccesible with stupid Cortisol flooding the brain! - VLC God of Time, Firelord and Chaos Overlord Blaze H. Zur
Stress is a part of life, however, this stress hormone for people with PTSD/trauma, is over reactive and can flood the brain with “threats everywhere” and forces especially, neurodivergent people, to focus on extreme views to make safety easier for them. It is the evolutionary struggle of having a human brain because essentially, we get locked out of our logic brain, when Fight or flight happens and we see things as us vs them and rational, logical thinking is nearly impossible because hind brain is now in control.
We use the term "neurodivergent/Neurosparkly" and if you don't like that, that's fine, but you don't get to "police us" on using the term for ourself and on our blogs. People who gatekeep like that, can go suck a rusty nail - VLC God of the Void Voidius
Hind brain or trauma brain is an evolutionary hold over from when we, as a human species, was less developed and didn't have access to advanced technology nor fully developed brains. Like Homo Habilis and Homo Erectus!
Defense mechanisms and trauma responses from extremely, hurtful experiences, are part of the impact from trauma and bad circumstances! There is other things like developing a lack of trust etc.
The question then becomes, what can be done to help these trauma survivors and ourselves with these impacts?
The first and foremost thing, we need to try to have compassion for them and ourselves!
However, WE DO NOT tolerate abuse of any kind from others! And self-abuse/neglect as well! Abusing others due to your past trauma or experiences is ALWAYS WRONG!
We must remember we cannot rescue others or save them from themselves. In many instances, it is better to find ways to support that person, without directly being, involved with them.
We, also, must remember that when we set boundaries, we cannot use boundaries, as a way to control others. Sometimes we ask for unreasonable things and/or try to control others, as a way to make ourselves feel safer. That is not healthy and is poor communication as well!
Self-protection is not akin to selfishness. It is necessary to make sure that you are okay! You cannot help others if you, yourself is drained by having your energy and mental well-being, impacted by the other trauma survivor or person(s).
In this, it is important to recognize your own limitations. Empathy without boundaries is self-destruction.
While self-protection, is important, it does not mean that includes control! You still do not get to tell another person how to live.
That is not setting a healthy personal boundary!
It defeats the purpose of healthy boundaries. Many people believe that healthy boundaries means you get to tell another person, what they can and can't do. That's not healthy boundaries.
That is deceptive, misleading and disrespectful of other's autonomy. When you have had your personal autonomy consistentlyh taken from you through abuse, it is still NOT OKAY to repeat that to others.
How are you any different than your abusers????
Misusing therapeutic language to control others can lead to manipulative behaviors.
Healthy boundaries involve setting personal standards, not dictating others' actions. Understanding true boundaries promotes respectful interactions in relationships.
Healthy boundaries involve personal commitments, not commands, and enforcing boundaries means acting on them rather than solely stating them.
We need to have boundaries with our empathy for others, while not using it as weapon nor people pleasing!
Average folks, in general, are not well educated on the impact of PTSD/trauma and will do things due to their own lack of knowledge, that may cause more trauma or harm to the trauma survivor. Even other trauma survivors may not be well equipped to help another survivor.
Being able to have awareness and recognize your limits is essential to protecting your mental well-being and not causing harm to others in this way.
Nobody, who hasn't lived in that specific trauma survivors "shoes", can actually fully understand nor solve that person's trauma or inability to deal with it.
A lot of people say put yourself in "other's shoes", however, I disagree as I am and my team our own person and have our own views. - VLC God of Business Kulbert Consul
In our team's view, we don't need to do that, in order to empathize with someone's feelings or experiences. You can care about other's, without having to fully understand their feelings or life experiences. - VLC's Demon King Malaketh
There is also the knowledge that:
It is not our job to rescue others! Nor fix them. Nor solve their problems.
We aren't you and you aren't us! Every human is a different being!
When we look for a therapist for processing trauma, it is essential to make sure that they are trained in trauma actually, and are doing exactly what a therapist should be doing for someone with complex trauma. There are a lot of therapists out there, who are not capable of helping someone with complex trauma.
We have to weigh the pros and cons, just like The Ancient Egyptian Goddess of Truth, Cosmic Balance, Justice and Order Ma'at!
As for trauma survivors, it is important to understand our own diagnoses by educating on them, by doing so, we empower ourselves, to better help our own healing process!
Being involved in our own healing is essential! Humans are not perfect and we need to accept that we will be wrong and make mistakes which is very freeing if you think about it! Remember others expectations, opinions, judgements are about them and based on their lenses.
When you f**k up, just work on that, without allowing shame, guilt, toxic judgement to stop us from making better decisions!
We do have to hold ourselves accountable and others but I say, it needs to be wrapped in love. - VLC Demon Lord of Debate Landry Connelly
Do we know what "wrapped in love" looks like? Some of us don't! That's not our fault and we reparent ourself, so we can change our perspective, be healthier, reduce suffering and heal the foundational trauma we have! - VLC God of Protection Jareth Killias
Trauma survivors who are stuck in "survival mode can see threats everywhere", and sometimes will continue the trauma cycles onward.
This means, that some survivors, excuse using emotional abuse or other types of abuse, as a way to make themselves feel more in “control” of their life and in a way, while it is definitely wrong and they are not a safe person, they are loosing themself to being just like their abusers!
The generational trauma cycles continue! That's not anything to be excited about or proud of either. Its revolting, when someone does this, and it is extremely unattractive. - VLC God of the Void, Emerald Shadow Monarch, Loki's Apprentice Blackstrike
The United States has failed, when it comes to helping people, who have been victimized by others, getting them restorative justice and protective justice that is necessary to make sure that society is healthy. This is unacceptable!
Our biggest issues are at the core of this country, are the extremely harmful ideologies (like Imperialism, Colonialism, White Suprermacy, Manifest Destiny BS etc), that were brought here by the Spainards and are continued to be pushed.
We researched like deeply about the history of how the invasion happened in America. I'm disgusted, horrified and feel deeply like, a spaniard must be the one to restore and protect marginalize peoples and remove the systemic horror going on! - VL Fredrigo
With all the harmful ideologices going on, there is no room for other perspectives, understanding what is actually healthy for all involved and how to celebrate differences, while finding common ground.
It is also, important to recognize that abusers chose to abuse and we cannot reason with such types of people. There is no "well I didn't know" when it comes to abusing others as well! - VLC God of Adventure Kieran Zenithal Abaddon
Many abusers were victimized themselves. We as trauma survivors, need to find a way, to not be like our abusers! And to not excuse ourselves even with all the trauma, we experienced.
We must be willing to set aside some of our own vanity and fear, to face that we are all a part of this horrific crime going on. Not one of us, is free from the reality that this wheel will keep continuing until each of us, starts stepping up in our personal lives. - VLC Historian devoted to Black History Bailey Jones
If we want to make society actually safe and just, that must include facing ourselves in our own mirror. We cannot ignore the harm we cause others. The impact of it. That means that while trauma, diagnoses and disabilities, are understandable, heart breaking, explainable etc, it does not excuse abusing anyone nor dehumanizing them.
It is also important to say, when you f**k up, sometimes, you do need to process a bit, so you are be able to not allow your trauma to cloud yhour judgement. Then you can address it, in a healthy manner. - VLC God of Sex Blake Tallon
Our goal as trauma survivors is to reparent ourselves and make healthier choices.
Healthy people do not tolerate abuse from anybody and anything! They know how to respect other's boundaries and protect their own boundaries with enforcement!
Some emotional abuse, does in fact dehumanize people, and boil them down to a “box” to make it easier for the person that is doing that, to justify their abuse of them.
It is better to not let our trauma brain "categorize people into boxes" because of the "overgeneralization cognitive distortion", which is a huge problem since it leads to very dark places like othering and dehumanization!
The old saying is: Actions speak louder than words, right? I'm working on understanding things, man trauma is like being under concrete... - VLC Demon Lord of Lust Thoth aka Kushim
Overgeneralization, the cognitive distortion, reveals a person's insecurities, anxieties and fears. It is necessary to face this and address it, so that their fears and anxieties can be mitigated and ultimately conquered! - VLC Sacred Clown Lara Valiant
This distortion does still, damage Inter-personal relationships and distorts the actual truth, that no person in your life, even if with they share a trait or human variable with someone else, means they are exactly the "same".
The past repeats sometimes because of what's known as "self-sabotage".
Nobody is exactly the same, as our past trauma persons. And if they have similar abuse behaviors, it can be a pattern that needs to made aware of, so that it is not repeated anymore. - VLC Demon Lord of Poetry Dante Hieroden
Overgeneralization can fuel anxiety, fear and insecurities and become a self-fulfilling prophecy and ultimately is self-sabotage.
The Biggest problem is, it is easier to see this in others, if you know about this but can be harder to see in yourself. It is very important to build your self-awareness, so you can stop the self-sabotage and heal!
Something like this, can be worked on solo, but it really needs to be addressed in a safe neutral place, which is often times therapy, as there is a lot of unhealed trauma contributing to this overall cognitive distortion. - VLC Angel Therapist Astra Goldvein
The inability to see beyond the wound, makes the anxieties, fears and insecurities deeper not better. The perspectives are challenged through a wound.
Instead of seeing people as they are. They get placed as a "bad person" label, immediately when they make a mistake, or say something poorly etc. - VL Warlock of Teen Angst Runë Mëdïvh Wärlöckë
This label of "bad person" is then is used to justify harming another often times. It has been used to justify dehumanization, to justify revenge, to justify so many things. Just because it is used as a justification, does not mean it is Healthy, correct nor really accurate either! - VLC Demon Lord of Speed Vyxian
All humans are fallible and imperfect. Does that excuse even unintentional harm no...and if we continue using this cognitive distortion, we end up becoming isolated and estranged from communities, that lead down a path to not being alive, literally. That is the biggest danger!
One of the most wonderful things about human brains, is they can heal!
It is important to say, even when you have been hurt like us, there are still so many people on this planet. Like what was the count?
Like the current count is 8.3 Billion people as of 2026! - VLC God of Science Natayla Zavoros
When you see that number what comes to mind?
Our own brain has a hard time understanding that number too, by the way! - VLC Goddess of Joy Kassina Baduk
Logically, 8.3 Billion people, means you got that many chances to find healthy people, to change your perspective, to grow, to learn, to experience awesome people!
That is hard for Hind brain or trauma brain to compute because it only pulls from negative past experiences. It can't see a future full of possibilities because its trying to keep you safe but in doing so, it is harming you ability to heal!
It is very important to also say: Overgeneralization is a direct and powerful driver of "othering". Which is a way of negating another person's humanity. It also, plays a significant role in dehumanization of people! - VLC's Patron Norse God of Mischief Loki Laufeyjarson
When we forget that every single person is a full being with thoughts, feelings, experiences, needs, wants and regardless, if they belong to a certain type of group, like religious groups, social groups, class, skin color, cultural group, income bracket, gender, sexuality, we risk losing out on finding someone who could have be our catalyst for change!
Just that the possiblity of finding new information or perspectives to challenge our trauma brain's confusing logic spirals, helps my team, when our trauma brain, starts talking shit and doing overgeneralization distortions and we get very triggered by our past experiences in connection to a new one. - VLC God of Sass Dax Highcross
Science shows, every human being has DNA, that is completely unique to them. Some people even have multiple strands of DNA too! Chimerism!
The key to making society better for marginalized people, and changing neural pathways in abusers and Trump supporters, is by making sure that we are the role models for them. We cannot simply put aside the possibility.
So many in our USA society are actually immature.
This is not to shame, to judge, to blame at all. It is a statement. I like to be very clear and direct as much as possible because otherwise, things may be lost in translation. - VLC Historian Educating on India Nadia Sahdi
We all have places within us, that are immature, as well. People are not toxic all the time either. That is why identifying abuse can be hard and takes time with critical thinking and awareness!
Maturity doesn't come standard with becoming an "adult". Did you know that? It is a journey! It is process. It is essential for good judgement! - VL Isseti Miller
Remember all humans feel fears, anxieties, insecurities to a degree or another. It is to say, all humans struggle and make mistakes.
We cannot change others. They must be part of their own healing! They must want to change.
Sometimes, it is the best course, to let people be who they are. Believe when people show you who they are and let go of them.
You can still love them. You can still care about them. And still, you are worthy of being protected, cared about and having good things! If that means you must let go of someone to retain your sanity then that is what you must do!
In order for us to change the impact and struggles going on, we all must take part in the process! People exclaim Revolution but they aren't willing to put their effort in, to do it! Revolution is more than a battle. It is a process. It starts with you! - VLC "V"
Part of that process is we need to adjust our view of others, even if we have trauma, horrific experiences, diagnoses and disabilities that impact us deeply. It is hard to do and possible.
Our brains have neuroplasticity!!! We can, in fact, change our brain and foundations at any age! Science helps with this because of The scientific method! This is hopeful! I hope that this helps you as it helped us!
If Pandora's box is already opened, then HOPE must be fostered on the individual level and in community as well! We can actually achieve the changes needed! - VLC The Dream Keeper Lord Lloydd
As within, as without! Within is, is where the real change happens first!
When we change within, it automatically, will impact outside experiences!
That is so important to learn! Cause you can't control other's perceptions, expectations, opinions, feelings, judgements etc of you! You can't even make them change or understand you! So stop trying to do that! Like reputation is bullshit! Focus on you character! Your integrity! - VLC Historian educating on Black History Bailey Jones
Trust the damn process, b*tches! - VLC God of Sass Dax Highcross
Much f**kinig love from a messy human vessel, full of a menagrie of individuals known as The Valerian Legion! And The Chaos Warlock!
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