Night 12: It's called Emotional and who the f**k is THAT???

Written by: Jareth Killias, main protector on The Valerian Legion Council

It was a tiring day. I had wisdom tooth pain, rage at the shooting at Renene Good and sorrow at all the stories about the suffering on the news of various groups.

I was, also, very unhappy with missing my job interview due to my stupid swollen, painful cheeks.

I looked in the mirror and sighed well eventually this chipmunk look would get better. I was sick of the strange through my front teeth speech too.

When it came time, I ducked out so that Ms. Pain slut for needles could be out. It was actually both Dax and Equinox. The weridos!

I walked to the teleport room and went back to my room on the main island.

As I strode into my bedroom, I sat down on my dark blue bed comforter and leaned back with my back on the bed.

On my ceiling was stars and Earth's solar system. It glowed and I enjoyed it.

I breathed deeply for a bit. This nightmare that is the U.S. needs to stop. Extinction Burst or not...I can't stand seeing my friends, my family, strangers and even well exes suffering like this.

I need to find a way to stand up to our Government and help make changes. Like Martin Luther King Junior did. Sure, Im not him.

We are a 5'3", 147 lbs transgender nonbinary genderfluid femboy who is currently dealing with a ptsd increase in symptoms because of last year horror that happened.

I can't reconcile that reality. I want to talk about it but its scary and people aren't really listening around me.

They seem to think I am maybe past it? Or they dont seem to understand the gravity of what happened. It's isolating at times and so I am hopeful for the new councilor we will be seeing after the 19th.

I, also, feel like Project Renegade is deeply needed. People are overwhelmed, stressed out and everybody's mental health is suffering. I can't handle it anymore.

It's like those 3 months woke up a doorway into my very soul! I saw with clear vision how bad it was truly for many people on the streets. I saw how hospital staff treats you when they think you are homeless. I saw how cruel and truly abusive psych wards can be. And I know im not the only one who experiences this literal nightmares.

But I come away from those 3 months completely changed. It's like I can see the patterns everywhere now. From the scripted talks people have to people being literally blinded by the mundane and trying to just literally ignore problems. Keep their head down not disrupt the flow.

I am unable to shut my brain off. I see the energy now around me. I feel them. I feel everything. It's like my preconceived notions were torn apart and stitched back into a new canvas with so many avenues.

I long to see transgender people and people of color and monks all together supporting each other and marching for freedom.

I believe this is possible but how?

I know peaceful protests have actually been successful to achieve change in U.S. history in the past. So thats what we need, that and propaganda in our favor.

It seems the problem is multistaged. The biggest though?

Trauma.

We are all experiencing trauma and its triggering people's primitive brain so they go into fight or flight mode/survival mode. They aren't able to rationally think or assess the situation and there is more Su*c*des from younger generations as well all other groups too.

This must stop. And most dont see leaders standing up either?

So, while I liked the movie V for Vendetta its not what I want to do. I want to be peaceful.

It is what actually does work.

So my Legion and I have begun to work on foing just that. We are over 100 strong. It may seem like a lot but each of us has a unique set of skills actually. It's difficult sometimes but being multiple does have advantages.

So, I will figure this out but first we need to heal our wisdom teeth surgery. It's really painful and super distracting to be honest.

So, I rolled on my side. I just want to begin the process already but im really in bad shape pain wise. Gotta take care of us first.

I keep thinking on what we can do for the prptest though. I got some ideas but no solid plan yet. I need to first research how to do this "role play/larp protest".

Literally, everybody we have talked to about it, loves the idea! This is what we need.

We need people to have excitement, joy and hope! The government is trying to make us all panic. Not on my watch.

So i lay here tonight healing, in my pajamas and I just want you to know, we get it. We do.

We love you. Even those from other countries reading this blog. I will not give up. We must make history change.

"So we will recooperate first then plan. Please keep hope."

Jareth, sat up. "WHO THE F**K ARE YOU???"

A dark figure stood near his door. He had the V for Vendetta mask on and a beige trench coat.

Jareth glared. " YOU! SOOOO YOUR THE ASSHOLE, RIGHT?"

The figure stepped forward and took off the mask. A average European descent guy with short black hair, dark eyes and a smirk with a small beard and mustache greeted Jareth.

"The names...V."

Jareth crossed his arms. "First off, entering my room without permission thats not okay. Secondly, was it YOU who made us scared as heck while we wandered around hyped up on Risperdone and Lithium?"

V sighed. "No. I was trying to get through to you all. That we needed to sit still and focus on getting home and not going to hospital after hospital hoping they would help us. The hospitals didn't get we were on very bad psych meds."

Jareth nodded. "Okay. So can I trust you? Can I?"

V nodded. " Yes. My dude yes. I dont know if you know this but i want to help. Peacefully. I promise."

Jareth narrowed his eyes. "You are prosecutor aren't you?"

V shrugged, "Yup. Im working on my behavior."

Jareth tapped his foot. "Okay. Wait, has Operation Cuddle attempted to approach you yet?"

V shook his head no. "No."

Jareth straightened. "Okay so then we need to get you into that first before we can trust you."

V nodded. "Sure. I will cooperate."

Jareth extended his hand. "So, nice to finally meet you. Welcome to The Valerian Legion."

V shook his hand. "Just so you know I am not V for Vendetta. Just V. That's it. And yes, I will talk to the team."

Jareth smiled. "And you will not be allowed out by yourself. We have a buddy system now for prosecutors and children. Well children get teo watchers on them."

V laughed. "Makes sense. Im guessing Rune's the reason why, huh?"

Jareth nodded. "Exactly. He's really young. He gets overwhelmed easily. Poor guy. I was thinking of inviting him over to sleep nearby on my couch or something. I feel like he's just too scared. He needs comfort."

"I agree. Kind of despise that one person, saying delete him. Like how first off? Secondly thats actually not possible. Third its just cruel. Jeez no wonder they are not doing well. Their mental health needs therapy pronto."

Jareth snorted. "Him? Go to therapy? Maybe. Who cares? I personally find him, well, a bit like whatever. Im not really interested in discussing that guy."

V nodded. "Alright. So should I leave then? I didn't mean to intrude. Sorry."

Jareth rubbed his hand over his nose. "Yea, time for bed. See you tomorrow alright? Make sure you knock and wait before entering. Im kinc of tired of everybody just coming into my room unannounced. It's rude and intrusive."

V sighed. "Yea, sorry. Won't happen again. See you later."

V left and closed the door behind him. Jareth breathed out. Jeez, that was what...the 11th new alter to show since last year's bullshit? Well, at least he agreed to go through the therapy run inner world. That was good news.

Jareth started removing his shirt and ither clothing.

I only sleep in my boxers. I miss cuddling with Arlo but tonight I need space. Im that tired. The polycule understands.

I got into bed. Time to rest until tomorrow. Hope tomorrow is not nearly as painful. Yikes. Really hate this wisdom tooth healing wrap.

Good night.

Love,

Jareth Killias